Spence Vs. The Socialists

My representative who I have been calling to have a word with for about three weeks now has recently put himself in the headlines declaring that there are 17 socialists in the Congress. I could really dissect this comment, but I will not for he is more than welcome to his opinion. However, doesn't he have other things to worry about other than declaring some people are socialists. So what...we are a republic adhering to democratic priniciples and those "socialists" (as he calls them) are certainly entitled to their opinions. Despite the fact that he did not, or never has, operationalized what he means by such a term; I wish I could just get his attention about H.R. 1189, legislation that would save lives. He is still not on board and I have yet to even garner an answer about a commitment. Yes or no congressman...that simple! Take some time out of your mud throwing and press ops and take a look at this bill. A large portion of your constituency, except for a select few areas (which carry the most political clout around here and which you are most closely alligned), probably would fall into the categories which this legislation intends to serve. Maybe you will tell me it is "socialist," but what good is dead labor and skyrocketing medicare and medicaid spending to your market principles? Say YES sir....COVER YOUR BUTT!!!!!

Doctor Visist All Next Week

Monday morning I am scheduled to follow-up with my thoracic surgeon who will have me complete a pulmonary functioning test. I will talk with him about the immediate area where the tumor is and discuss risks related to the possibility of my lung collapsing again. I had been exercising everyday but I have since stopped and I would like to pick that up again. I am just not sure if that is something that I need to be doing with a compromised left lung. I do not want to cause it to collapse! I am sure that we will also talk about the cancer and what our options for surgery would be if it were the only tumor present in my system.

On Tuesday I am scheduled for my PET scan (insurance approved yesterday afternoon). I have never completed one of these types of scans. They are located in the basement of the doctor's office. Similar to the dungeon (basement in the tumor building) where I went for radiation, I am guessing this is to prevent radiation from scattering to nearby areas. I will be given a glucose formula and then have to sit in a recliner very still for about 45 minutes. Then I am taken to the PET scan machine for a scan of about 40 minutes. I have had so many scans that this will be nothing. Although, I do have to say that I am going to see if they will let me look at the results (at least with my doctors). That has to be a REALLY cool image to look at of yourself.

Then on Wednesday I am scheduled to see my medical oncologist. I will have completed the PET scan and we will have those results so we know what we are dealing with. I am fairly certain that he is going to want chemotherapy anyway we look at it. There will be some difficult topics when we talk but nothing that cannot be resolved. I will follow through with treatment if the tumor is by itself. If there are multiple metastases I am not sure what my thought on the matter will be. I initially feel that I would not really want to do chemotherapy again if it is only to postpone death. However, I guess it is within consideration to see how the tumors, hypothetically, would respond to treatment. It will ultimately depend on what type of chemo they are wanting to do. They really loaded me up the first go around and I am really afraid of doing that again. But I will probably suck it up and at least go down swinging!

Anyway, keep the thoughts and prayers coming. I am really going to need them starting next week. The waiting to know is the worst part of all this.

Peace,
Josh

Same Old Song And Dance

I am waiting to have my PET scan scheduled so I can have that done before I see my medical oncologist. One guess what is keeping it from being scheduled. Drum roll please.....insurance company. I swear I am tired as hell of dealing with insurance companies. Everyone knows I can go on my rants about insurance companies and how I feel about what I see as our need as a society for a single payer system, but it is just plain ridiculous. I don't even know what to make of it sometimes. When I last tried to get a referral to see my thoracic surgeon for the brochoscope my referrals for the doctor who made the medical referral were not active (they only give me 2 visits per referral, before making me start from scratch) so therefore, the medical referral he made to the pulmonary thoracic surgeon was not active and I was not approved to see him. So, back to the insurance representative at UA I went to get a new referral for my original surgeon. They then tried to tell me that I could not have a referral to more than one oncologist at a time, even though I have had referrals to see three over the past two years now. You would think they might look at their own records before they try some shit excuse like that. Anyway, it is pure madness and if it weren't for the fact that I am my own advocate I am not sure exactly how it would unfold. One has to ponder the possibility that many people would give up trying to get things resolved which is probably what they intend with such behavior. All this while I am trying to muster up the energy to fight cancer again. It really is immoral in many ways!!!

Call-On Congress Pics

If you are interested here are the pictures taken by the photographer at the advocacy training that I attended. PEOPLE IN ALABAMA please note that some pictures have constituents actually meeting with their representatives in person. This was not just a commemorative event for the advocates, but more so a sign of support for the ideas behind this event. This was not done for me, nor did I meet with my actual representatives. My representative, nor any representative from Alabama, has yet to co-sponsor or show any instrumental sign of support. Senator Sessions did send me a form letter saying he would consider sponsorship should the bill make its way to the Senate. An answer without any commitment...sigh.

Call On Congress Pics

Great Doctor...Tough News

I received a call from my surgeon who saw me with the collapsed lung and also made the referral to the thoracic surgeon. He called to tell me he had just received the biopsy results in his office and he wanted to touch base with me about how I was doing. He is a super doc and he has always been pretty spot on with diagnosing what is wrong with me, as well as, up-front and easily understood in his description of things.

Anyway, it is confirmed that it is adenocarcinoma. He stated that the CT scan had suggested another primary tumor, but that the pathology report suggests that it is metastasis from the original rectal tumor. He mentioned that the course of action was to complete the PET scan to see if there is any further metastasis. If there is only the tumor in the lung then the course of action is chemotherapy and radiation followed by surgery, then possibly adjuvant chemotherapy. If there is evidence of further metastasis then the course of action is chemotherapy. Under this situation I asked if this was primarily palliative chemotherapy. He responded that at that point, survival was in the single digits. He did not answer yes to the palliative question, but the course of action is chemotherapy to postpone the inevitable.

Unlike the nurse yesterday who mentioned that I did not need the thoracic surgeon to submit my order for a PET scan that I could just wait until the order on the 15th, this doctor stated that he would have me scheduled for a PET scan by the end of the day after I mentioned my situation and asked for his help. Like I stated before, a real great doctor!

Anyway, many tough decisions lie ahead for me. Please pray for mine and my wife's discernment process as we work through these difficulties.

Peace,
Josh

Doctor's Appointment

I heard from the my medical oncologist's office today. I am scheduled to see the doctor on the 15th. At first they said the 20th, but I told them they need to see me before I decide I don't want to do chemo again. They called back and said the 15th. I know it seems like a long way off, but they see so many people that the date is really not that bad. Of course I would love to see them today, but this is reality in oncology.

I asked if they could at least schedule my PET scan earlier, but they said they would have to see what the doctor wanted to do (meaning they would have to wait until the 15th). So, I called back my thoracic surgeon and left a message with the nurse to see if he could order the PET scan. If he can put the order in I may be able to get the PET scan ordered sooner than the 15th which will put me in line a bit earlier. Hopefully, I will have the results of the scan completed before I see my medical oncologist which will keep the process running smoothly.

I swear, between the doctors, insurance companies, and my own health (physical and emotional); being a cancer patient is a full-time job.

Josh

Thank You Everyone!

Once again I am humbled by the many thoughts and prayers received over the past few days. This has been very sobering for Kimberly and I both and we are right back to a place where we were hoping we would never be. I am not as upset as I was the first time, but I think that is due primarily to understanding that this was a possibility. I think only survivors can really understand, but I have constantly battled feelings of vulnerability since I was originally diagnosed. I usually kept them to myself, for when I verbalized them I was often chastised for being negative or pessimistic from others.

I will meet this challenge with the same resolve that I have shown in previous battles. I will step into the ring knowing that I am going to get the shit beat out of me. This will probably be a more difficult chemo round seeing as I do not have any extra weight to pad my wasting. The look of death will come sooner and the sickness will be excruciating. Hell, I already get nauseous just thinking about chemo or just visiting the doctor's office for follow-up visits. So, when I actually start getting the medicine pumped in me again I will probably get sick real quick.

Even though my breathing has improved since they re-inflated my lung, I can still tell something is wrong. I have pain when I take deep breaths or when I stretch out my left arm to reach for something. The pain has moved towards my back as well as my chest. It is not unbearable, but it is very uncomfortable. It really hurts if I sneeze or get the hiccups, but I guess that makes sense. I still do not have any idea what the probability of my lung collapsing again is. I am sure given that there is still something there which could block air flow again that it is conceivable.

Anyway, please keep the prayers and positive thoughts coming. I need them these days. I am not really sure what the future holds but I am going to take on whatever needs to be accomplished. The PET scan (not sure of when this is scheduled) will probably be the tell-tale event to give me an indication of what to expect. Metastasis anywhere is not good, but just hope that a single metastasis is all I am dealing with. Anything else will probably be a longer chat with the doc about options/suggestions.

Peace,
Josh