Hello Visitors! Interesting thinking about who might still stop by and check on this blog. Friends, family, strangers....oh my! For those reading I hope this finds you in good spirits.
I have continually lamented on here about my lack of keeping this blog updated more often. In all honesty, I have been extremely busy, which is a wonderful thing. I wish I had more tangible evidence of progress in some aspects of my life (ie. school), but hopefully that is on the near horizon.
My health continues to improve which makes me feel blessed more each day. At 3 years since my diagnosis I am entering the meat of the distribution statistically, I believe. Of course, I have never been shy about avoiding what everyone else is doing. Here's to outliers! Freaks!
Survivorship is altogether something I struggle with. On the one hand, I feel blessed everyday to wake up and feel strong enough for a walk. That ritual has become my daily f*#k you cancer mantra. However, on the other hand, the self-reflection of surviving is not always black and white and invites me to confront myself in ways in which I was ill prepared. I guess that is the trick, nobody is prepared for those critical self-reflective moments that life sends. That is what makes them so critical. I believe everyone is called to examine themselves, but for me this has been thrown on its head during the past few years. I suppose what I am getting at is that life became more complex than I had already accepted as possible. And I thought I had pretty radical boundaries for complexity after practicing social work. Seems to me that somewhere in this mess I will continue my life course. I will grow, adapt, learn, love, be loved, mourn, and cherish; never forgetting that one day I will be healed. That is my hope!
Peace,
Josh
